I Wonder

Sometimes, no, actually, a lot of times, I wonder why God has allowed certain things in my life to happen the way that they happen.

I wonder how things made to be a shelter, made to be the encouragment in this Christian life, become the things that cause me to stumble and fall, leaving me broken, tattered, bleeding, disheartened.

I wonder why the people closest to me do not understand that I am hurting. I wonder why they do not see that I am crying out.

I cry out to God to end this. I want my life to be easy. It is not a comfortable thing to endure trials.

Trials...even as I write that, I think of how far from a trial this is.

I think of Job...he endured more suffering than I shall probably ever know, yet he did not become tainted with sin. Rather, he praised God.

I think of Stephen, the church's first martyr. I ponder the terrible death of stoning and realize that he really understood what is most important.

I think of Esther who risked her life to save her people. I am amazed by her courage.

I think of Noah. Mocked by those around him, he chose to obey God. For decades, he was taunted. He was surrounded by sin, yet he chose a life of holiness. Because of his obedience, I am writing this right now.

I think of Ruth. Her husband, dead. Her life, destitute. Her future, bleak. She could have chosen to stay in her land with her people, yet she chose to serve the LORD. We will always remember her as the grandmother of King David.

I think of the thousands of people around the world who understood that "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." The precious people of God who gave their lives for the cross...and gained lives that will never cease.

This is hardly a trial, really. Yes, it hurts. Yes, I want to give in and say, "IT IS NOT WORTH IT." But even now, especially now, God is good. No matter what He allows into my life, His goodness never changes. His mercy is everlasting. His truth endures to all generations.

I am reminded by His very Words that I am not alone.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. -Hebrews 12:1-2

I know that God has not left me. I know He will give me the strength and patience and grace I need to endure--with a joyful spirit--all He gives me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. -2 Corinthians 12:9

Thanks for listening.

Blessings,
Melissa